Adventures in Dating Part One

“People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.” Carrie, Sex in the City

So it’s been a while…actually a very long time…okay FINE it’s been a very VERY long time since I went on a date or even considered going on one. Sure it was a rough road for me a few years back with life continuing to bitch slap me around for a good year or so. Then, what with all that reinventing of myself, who had the time to even consider starting something up? And then when life got good again and I was back on my two feet better than ever, I found I was quite happy to be on my own. As they say, “if you can’t make yourself happy then you can’t expect anyone else to make you happy”, right? I am not one to “pine” for a boyfriend, or actively search in rapid desperation, feeling like I will surely shrivel up and die if I go more than one month of singleness. Sure there’s that fear of dying, alone in my apartment with no one knowing about it until the smell of my decomposing corpse permeates the hallways and the neighbours realize that this time it’s NOT the smell of the Thai people’s cooking downstairs. Sure it sucks when your ceiling fan goes tits up, you have blinds to hang, or a wall in your apartment you want taken out but, for as independent as I am, there are things that are too far into the realm of manliness for me to want to tackle. Or maybe I’m just lazy that way…

Of course then there was the overriding thought of, “I can’t imagine there is a guy out there with whom I want to deal with on a daily basis.”

Seriously….but lets not rush things and get into cohabitating yet…I haven’t even been on a date in years.

My last forays into the dating world were less then fulfilling, but I live the type of life where if something weird, bizarre or even hilarious is gonna happen it’ll happen to me. (ie: almost getting eaten by a 120 pound wolf, almost blinding myself with a pilates band, the uncanny ability to end up with stinging insects inside my clothing, causing me to rip said clothing off my body as I screech in a mixture of pain, panic and horror, much to the delight of the guys I was with at the time…you get the picture…) And I am okay with that, at least you wind up with a few funny stories to entertain people with.

I guess it was about 4 and a half years back I decided to join a dating site. A friend belonged to one and she happily regaled me with what a great time she was having going on all these dates. You see all these other people doing it and having these great dates and some even end up blissfully happy. I figured if it worked for them why not me?

Well stay tuned for the drooler, the drunkard and the guy who apparently hasn't seen utensils before, plus many more tales of the bizarre and unexplainable!