I realize it’s been a long time since I've written something and I have been totally bugged about leaving yet another 'cliff hanger" but geez come on guys, like my life is really something that leaves you hanging in suspence? Anyways, I can’t say exactly why, but I think I may have hit on the possibility yesterday. One thing that’s been glaringly apparent is I haven’t been feeling all that “blogger witty” lately and me being the perfectionist I am…well it just wasn’t happening for me. But another thing that hit me yesterday as I was thinking about my particular subject for this particular post was this-----he was genuinely a really nice guy and deep down I believe he had a good heart. And to be witty would have had me poking fun at him at his expense and I honestly can’t do that. If a guy’s a total shithead then fine, it’s no holds barred. But someone who’s nice, yet had fate shit on him a little makes me not so able to rip him to shreds like so many of the others deserve. So here it is…
He hit me up on the dating site and truth to tell something just wasn’t screaming “giddy-up!” for me with this guy. What it was I couldn’t really say…just one of those ‘gut feelings”. But he persisted and continued to remind me that he was “financially secure for life” and just “wanted to find a partner to have fun in life with”. Well all gut feelings aside, I suppose if a guy’s “financially secure” for life he’s gotta be worth at least a look-see right? I mean it would be stupid to say no to a guy who’s rich and just wants someone to go sail around the world with him right?
Well not so fast. We met up at one of my fav restaurants and he was already there when I showed up. He was dark and good looking but there was just something “off” about his face…something I couldn’t quite pin point. We ordered drinks and our dinners as we talked and began to get to know one another and the whole revelation all came crashing down on me rather quickly. Somewhere amidst having the exact same conversation every 10-15 minutes, it was revealed that the reason he was “financially set for life” was that he was in a motorcycle accident and the city was at fault and so subsequently received a rather healthy settlement……………………because the accident left him slightly brain damaged. And yeah he did drool slightly out of the corner of his mouth. I felt bad for him, sad, sympathetic….he was a great looking guy and before the accident was probably drop dead gorgeous. He was sweet and nice and I gladly spent the dinner with him, despite having the same conversation over and over and over again.
When we parted I could tell he wanted to see me again, but in all honesty it just wasn’t something I could do and yeah I felt like a total shitbag for it too. But unbeknownst to me was that I was a couple months away from being diagnose with severe depression and though I didn’t realize this at the time, I WAS very well aware of the shit I was dealing with in my own life and just didn’t have much left for someone else. It would be a big factor in realizing that I just wasn’t in the right place in my life to start up a relationship, But apparently I still had a few more “dates” left in this adventure before it all these revelations came to the fore.
I suppose now he's found some woman who is totally lacking in morals and integrity who's taken him for all he's worth. "no hunny you only had $75 000, not $750 000!". I truly hope this hasn't happened but knowing women as I do....yeeeeeeeeeeah....
So sorry for the total lack of wittiness in this dating adventure, Yeah he drooled and I could have made all sorts of witty remarks about how I shoulda went with the ”haz mat” suit instead of the halter dress, but I just couldn’t evoke my inner bitch enough to do it.
Dear God! Am I now finally losing my post depression cynicism? Lord help us all…..this blog is doomed.....
