Je veux mourir, or what happens in Aix-en-Provence, stays in Aix-en-Provence

So now that I’ve been back for about 2 months I feel that my travel blogging has lost a bit of it’s lustre..lol…I mean a lot has happened since I’ve been back.. Being viciously attacked by a hornet is just one thing. Of course it waited until it had managed to crawl up to thigh level on the INSIDE of my pants, before it started stinging the fuck outta me. Of course never one to do things half way, this happens to be the hornet that's rated in the top 10 of most painful stings. I, screaming in pain, thrust my pants off faster than if I had drank a 2 mickies of gin on an empty stomach in 2.5 seconds, much to the delight of the guy I was with at the time. (take notes guys). Then there’s the couch incident. Ya know, the couch I PAID for in JUNE and waited and waited and waited for it to be delivered only to find out the night before I left on my trip that the company had gone out of business. So anyways I get back and look into it. Seems the warehouse that made the couch actually has it, along with all the other 494757 customers in my position. And hey! I find out their willing to give us our stuff…though there’s a catch. I phone and inquire…

Then: yep that’s right we are willing to sell you your couch for wholesale price.
Me: Sell it to me? But I already paid for it.
Them: We are not associated with them. We only supply them, we don’t have anything to do with their business.
Me: Okay so how much is wholesale?
Them:$676.00.
Me: So are you gonna make me bend over so you can fuck me up the ass too?
Them: ~silence~

So…I took that as a no, which was maybe the ONLY plus in this whole charade. Anyways I got my couch, affectionately known as “the couch I paid twice for”. I am Seriously debating starting to dry hump the thing just to feel that I got my money’s worth…

So back to the travel bogging. I shall go on, but it may not be pretty!

I actually forgot that after Vaison-de-Romane we went to the Verdon gorge. It’s the second biggest gorge next to the Grand Canyon. It was very cool, and a VERY long way down (it’s 700 meters deep)…lol…I took a couple pics and we were off again. We could have driven along it further, but it had been a long day already, so we made our way back home. I was okay with this cuz you think that the Coquihalla is a scary drive? Not even close.

And ya know while I am typing this I realize I also forgot the biggest highlight of the Provence leg. No trip should EVER be without one night of drunken revelry. And I meant drinking oneself into a stupor like no other. So that night, at a loss as to where to eat, we stumbled upon a tapas place in Aix of all things. Jeff was going to order a margarita and I said well I’m all for that so how about a pitcher, whilst looking at Trish. She’s in, so a pitcher it is…..which in turn led to second pitcher. Of course after a second pitcher one’s good sense kinda goes out the window and so we ponder a third, reasoning…and this was Jeff’s idea I might add, NOT mine as everyone likes to blame!...that by having a third pitcher it would make splitting the bill up 3 ways that much easier. Hey, made PERFECT sense at the time! Drinking this much does have it's advantages however, like the next day when Jeff worries about all he said, and I reassure him that I can't remember a fucking thing!

Next day was a lil’ grim. We got up, got ready to go, then went back to sleep for another 2 hours….lol…then got up and went.

We dragged our sorry hungover asses to Lourmarin, supposedly the most beautiful village in Provence, but they all claim that…lol…We went to the Chateau up top and I quite liked it….not medieval in any way, but I would so love to live there. Plus they had a kickass staircase.

Then we were off to Pont du Luop and the Florian candy factory, Confiserie des Gorges-du-Loup that Jeff had been to before. It was a bit of a drive but we really appreciated him taking us there! This place was incredible. They’ve been around for over 100 years and make candy out of flower petals! And all other sorts of things too. I tried some Rose jelly and it’s so weird to taste something that tastes exactly like you would think a rose tastes! I brought back a bunch of flower petal candy for everyone, though dunno how much they really appreciated it. But I thought it was cool cuz how often do you get candy made of flowers? Sheesh…

Then we were off to Eze, with its medieval village built on top of a big hill of course, but this one was along the ocean. It was really awesome, busier than Vaison, but not as busy as Carcassonne (which we will see later). I really liked it. It was a great sunny day and hot too! There was a cactus garden at the top, (Jardin Exotique d'Eze aka the exotic garden) overlooking the ocean which was cool. There were a lot of shops and I was tempted to buy a tapestry of the Klimt painting “The Kiss”. I think it was on sale for about $500, but it was quite big and didn’t know how I’d get it back. It’s one of those things though that you regret not buying it. And lots of restaurants too, we stopped at one for a drink…I had a rum and I swear to GOD that France has the shittiest rum EVER!. I don’t care that the waiter tried to tell me it was what the pirates used to drink…bah!

Then we were off to Monaco. It wasn’t anything on our wish list, but it was close at this point so why not? Thing is about province down here is there is only one main road in and out,. Traffic was bumper to bumper, it was a big busy city and so not my style. It was great to see though for sure! We found parking and walked up to the palace. It wasn’t all that inspiring but I have to comment on the guard out front. Now he was a guard like at any palace, ya know, holding the rifle over the shoulder and marching back and forth…But these guys wear these uniforms that are all white. So white shirt tucked in and white pants. And this particular guard either liked his clothes REALLY tight or he's been into the donuts a little too much lately but holy hell his pants fit him like a second glove. And NOT a pretty sight I might add while both being white and donned by an unattractive man. Sorry, I took no close ups. –shudders-

Well that's it for now, amybe I can wrap this up next time...lol