Things I’ve learned in the last 2 months

I suck at Guitar Hero (and the song I sing best is the one I hate the most – Hotel California)

Things even out (money saved for Vegas trip=$400 – cost of most recent vet bill=$411)

Joining Facebook hoping to get in touch with old friends may not be such a good idea after all (cue high pitched screechy violin horror movie music)

I know the lyrics to an alarming number of 80’s hairband songs

Assignment due for school=a clean apartment (apparently the procrastination factor works in favour of cleanliness here…go figure I finally found my motivation)

Having a hot sex dream about Clive Owen makes the following day that much better

And last but not least…I still hate school…

Hero tested and approved!

So anyone that knows me knows of my “feelings” towards children. Not that I dislike children, I mean I do choose to volunteer my time at a children’s hospice. It’s just all those times like when you’ve been in a store or on the street and you encounter that mother and their child nearby and the child has that whiney drama queen moment or that extremely high pitched temper tantrum that threatens to crack your contact lenses? Yeah those moments…well I can’t BEGIN to tell you how many times over the years my tubes have tried to tie themselves ….

So the big irony of my workplace is this. I work on the 4th floor of a 5 story building. On the top floor is a daycare. Apparently, and I was told in no uncertain terms, that it’s my responsibility (as well as others on my floor) that when there’s a fire alarm I have to go against my natural instincts that tell me to flee the building screaming like a sissy girl and actually go UP the stairs and grab a kid and carry them to safety. Yeah me…the person who has chosen NOT to have children has to risk their life in order to save someone else’s spawn.

One day I was actually trying to rationalize this in my head when my supervisor asked me if I could really, in good conscious, just leave the building and thus the children behind. Moments ticked by in silence as I struggled with what to say and I soon realize that the people around me were staring at me horrified that I had not yet answered such a fundamental question. Okay so now this isn’t to say that I am THAT cold hearted. I was just pondering that fact that on a day to day basis I, who has NO children of her own, honestly do not think about other people’s children. I just don’t. And then I wondered that if a time like that should arrive, and amidst the panic and terror of imminent death, would I really instinctively think about these children of others?

So it would just happen that the other week after I had finally gotten my butt down to the gym (3dr floor) after procrastinating for most of the day, that the fire alarm went off. It was a Friday and almost 4:30 in the afternoon by then. I had just begun to work up a sweat when the fire alarm went off. Cursing I grabbed up my water bottle thinking how it figured that I finally get my ass to the gym and the fire alarm goes off. As I made my way to the door it clicked in my head. OMG the children! It’s 4:30 on a Friday and most people are gone by then! In a panic I race around the building but because of security I can’t get up to the 5th floor. I make my way outside and see one of the maintenance guys who’s got a key for everything. I explained to him the situation and we run up to the 5th floor and see the children all gathered around ready to be delivered to safety. Luckily there happened to be enough people left on my floor and who, in good conscience, came up to scoop all the kids up.

So in the end I wasn’t needed but I have to admit that I was pretty proud of myself for actually thinking about the kids when that ‘emergency’ actually became a reality.

By the way it turned out that the reason the fire alarm had gone off is cuz someone on a Bosa ball lost their balance and hit the fire alarm. Yeah......thanks for that, I really liked standing outside for an hour in wintertime in my t-shirt and shorts just after getting a good sweat on. –thumbs up-

and that's a wrap!

Okay let’s wrap up the trip! It won’t be pretty but here we go…

Next day saw us heading to Carcassonne, a place Jeff affectionately calls Disneyland…lol…He had been there before and didn’t particularly like it but for our sakes he sucked it up, trouper that he is and took us. The external façade of the castle is very Disneycastle-like in the turrets that adorn it all around. At night they light it all up real purty an it looks really nice. Unfortunately they’ve not really done much with the inside of the castle itself, so paying to go in was a bit of a waste.

So anyways, you get there and as with all medieval castle/villages they were encased in a high wall, So through the gates let you into the village itself with cobblestoned streets and old buildings. Each though has been turned into a tourist shop of some kind or a restaurant. But still the overall look of it was cool. We went into the torture chambers which housed a lot of old torture devices from the medieval times, complete with an iron maiden. This little tool was interesting and certainly had me squirming. The “scoop” like end was made to be inserted into an orifice, and then the other end, when twisted, caused the part that was inserted to slowly open wider and wider. Can you say OUCH!

After that we stopped in…..and Jeff took us to a Roman amphitheatre that is actually still used today. You can’t get inside but still it was amazing to see.

Next day Jeff drove us to the airport and we said our farewells. Then we caught our flight back to London, sans my bottle of wine from the Papal Palace that security confiscated. (I had intended on checking both bags, but wasn’t allowed and forgot the wine was in the one I was carrying on…-sighs-) I was once again hoping to make it to Highgate Cemetery to see the old part, but apparently when they say "London" Stansted airport, they don’t really mean London they mean way the fuck outside of London. So once again we arrived too late to see it.

We once again met up with my online friend Liam, who accompanied us through the “newer” part of Highgate and I at least got to wander about there and snap some pics. Then we dragged Liam through the London underground tube, much to his displeasure. Liam doesn’t like the tube, is kinda afraid of it actually, but the tough Canadian chicks took good care of him…lol…We went back to Piccadilly Circus and found a nice pub for some fish and chips and then did some last minute tourist shit shopping. Then we escorted Liam back on the tube to catch his train and said our sad farewells.

Next day (after not getting much sleep due to the domestic dispute directly across the hall that began at 5 AM) we headed off by bus to Cheltenham and Sudeley Castle to attend the Medieval Faire. I immediately fell in love with Cheltenham and the surrounding countryside and swear that one day I will spend a lot of time there, if not live there. We took a cab from the bus station to the castle and our cabbie regaled us with stories of the town, very interesting! The Faire was awesome, the jousting was WAY cool!

So that’s that. Next day it was back to the hotel, and the next day it was catching the flight back home. I admit I was pretty close to just staying…lol

Stand Up

sorry...been too tired to finish off the trip..I will though. Work is insanely busy, the girl that took over my job when I got promoted has gone on mat leave with no one to repalace her yet. I get home from work and I am brain dead...literally.

But I am not toto tired to post something important. Watch...support...fight....help....don't let the bastards win...no one should be prosecuted for wearing heavy metal t-shirts and reading Stephen King....

http://www.wm3.org/splash.php

Je veux mourir, or what happens in Aix-en-Provence, stays in Aix-en-Provence

So now that I’ve been back for about 2 months I feel that my travel blogging has lost a bit of it’s lustre..lol…I mean a lot has happened since I’ve been back.. Being viciously attacked by a hornet is just one thing. Of course it waited until it had managed to crawl up to thigh level on the INSIDE of my pants, before it started stinging the fuck outta me. Of course never one to do things half way, this happens to be the hornet that's rated in the top 10 of most painful stings. I, screaming in pain, thrust my pants off faster than if I had drank a 2 mickies of gin on an empty stomach in 2.5 seconds, much to the delight of the guy I was with at the time. (take notes guys). Then there’s the couch incident. Ya know, the couch I PAID for in JUNE and waited and waited and waited for it to be delivered only to find out the night before I left on my trip that the company had gone out of business. So anyways I get back and look into it. Seems the warehouse that made the couch actually has it, along with all the other 494757 customers in my position. And hey! I find out their willing to give us our stuff…though there’s a catch. I phone and inquire…

Then: yep that’s right we are willing to sell you your couch for wholesale price.
Me: Sell it to me? But I already paid for it.
Them: We are not associated with them. We only supply them, we don’t have anything to do with their business.
Me: Okay so how much is wholesale?
Them:$676.00.
Me: So are you gonna make me bend over so you can fuck me up the ass too?
Them: ~silence~

So…I took that as a no, which was maybe the ONLY plus in this whole charade. Anyways I got my couch, affectionately known as “the couch I paid twice for”. I am Seriously debating starting to dry hump the thing just to feel that I got my money’s worth…

So back to the travel bogging. I shall go on, but it may not be pretty!

I actually forgot that after Vaison-de-Romane we went to the Verdon gorge. It’s the second biggest gorge next to the Grand Canyon. It was very cool, and a VERY long way down (it’s 700 meters deep)…lol…I took a couple pics and we were off again. We could have driven along it further, but it had been a long day already, so we made our way back home. I was okay with this cuz you think that the Coquihalla is a scary drive? Not even close.

And ya know while I am typing this I realize I also forgot the biggest highlight of the Provence leg. No trip should EVER be without one night of drunken revelry. And I meant drinking oneself into a stupor like no other. So that night, at a loss as to where to eat, we stumbled upon a tapas place in Aix of all things. Jeff was going to order a margarita and I said well I’m all for that so how about a pitcher, whilst looking at Trish. She’s in, so a pitcher it is…..which in turn led to second pitcher. Of course after a second pitcher one’s good sense kinda goes out the window and so we ponder a third, reasoning…and this was Jeff’s idea I might add, NOT mine as everyone likes to blame!...that by having a third pitcher it would make splitting the bill up 3 ways that much easier. Hey, made PERFECT sense at the time! Drinking this much does have it's advantages however, like the next day when Jeff worries about all he said, and I reassure him that I can't remember a fucking thing!

Next day was a lil’ grim. We got up, got ready to go, then went back to sleep for another 2 hours….lol…then got up and went.

We dragged our sorry hungover asses to Lourmarin, supposedly the most beautiful village in Provence, but they all claim that…lol…We went to the Chateau up top and I quite liked it….not medieval in any way, but I would so love to live there. Plus they had a kickass staircase.

Then we were off to Pont du Luop and the Florian candy factory, Confiserie des Gorges-du-Loup that Jeff had been to before. It was a bit of a drive but we really appreciated him taking us there! This place was incredible. They’ve been around for over 100 years and make candy out of flower petals! And all other sorts of things too. I tried some Rose jelly and it’s so weird to taste something that tastes exactly like you would think a rose tastes! I brought back a bunch of flower petal candy for everyone, though dunno how much they really appreciated it. But I thought it was cool cuz how often do you get candy made of flowers? Sheesh…

Then we were off to Eze, with its medieval village built on top of a big hill of course, but this one was along the ocean. It was really awesome, busier than Vaison, but not as busy as Carcassonne (which we will see later). I really liked it. It was a great sunny day and hot too! There was a cactus garden at the top, (Jardin Exotique d'Eze aka the exotic garden) overlooking the ocean which was cool. There were a lot of shops and I was tempted to buy a tapestry of the Klimt painting “The Kiss”. I think it was on sale for about $500, but it was quite big and didn’t know how I’d get it back. It’s one of those things though that you regret not buying it. And lots of restaurants too, we stopped at one for a drink…I had a rum and I swear to GOD that France has the shittiest rum EVER!. I don’t care that the waiter tried to tell me it was what the pirates used to drink…bah!

Then we were off to Monaco. It wasn’t anything on our wish list, but it was close at this point so why not? Thing is about province down here is there is only one main road in and out,. Traffic was bumper to bumper, it was a big busy city and so not my style. It was great to see though for sure! We found parking and walked up to the palace. It wasn’t all that inspiring but I have to comment on the guard out front. Now he was a guard like at any palace, ya know, holding the rifle over the shoulder and marching back and forth…But these guys wear these uniforms that are all white. So white shirt tucked in and white pants. And this particular guard either liked his clothes REALLY tight or he's been into the donuts a little too much lately but holy hell his pants fit him like a second glove. And NOT a pretty sight I might add while both being white and donned by an unattractive man. Sorry, I took no close ups. –shudders-

Well that's it for now, amybe I can wrap this up next time...lol

Provence!

The next morning we met Jeff at the train station and were off to Provence! I didn’t want to sleep as I didn’t want to miss a second of the French countryside whizzing by at over 300 MPH. Those trains are fast! It was cool to see all the little villages along the way, with their old buildings and always near a hill with either a cathedral or a chateau perched on top of it.

At Aix-en-Provence which would be our home base, we picked up a rental car and then went o check in at our hotel. Then we were off once again, this time to Avignon. Jeff has a spiffy little hand held GPS that was cool and I got to play navigator. Funny is that it looks for the shortest route, tho it may not be the “best” route. A few times it took us on what Jeff likes to call “goat paths” but I love those kinds of wrong turns…lol…it’s where you see the most interesting things.

There we went to the Papal Palace, an impressive castle type building where, you guessed it, the Popes used to reside. It’s unfurnished though it has displays about, and you can get the guided tour thingie and hear about the history of the palace. On top there’s a nice view overlooking Avignon. I managed to take several pictures before some French woman came at me shaking her finger and saying “ no no no no no”. I took a good guess then and there that taking pictures is not allowed…lol…

In the cellar of the palace is the “Bouteillerie”, a wine cellar that sells Côtes du Rhône wines from grapes grown along the Rhone river. They boast over 40 wine choices and you can have a “tasting” of any one that you like poured by the incredible piece of man flesh they had working behind the counter. Oh la la! This was MY kind of place! You had to pay for the tastings but they gave you a good half a glass. I could have spent the entire day there…lol…or at least a bit longer but not wanting to hold my traveling companions up, I bought some to go and we got outta there.

Then we went to have a quick boo at the famous Saint Bénezet bridge. In 1177 some shepherd by the name of Bénezet came to town and told the bishop that god told him to get a bridge built. Why? I dunno…but there ya go, they built it and it’s quite nice…lol

Then we were off to see Le Pont du Gard, the Roman aqueduct probably built in the middle of the first century A.D. Designed to carry the water across the small Gardon river valley, it was part of a nearly 50 km (31 mi) aqueduct that brought water from the Fontaines d'Eure springs near Uzès to the Castellum in the Roman city of Nemausus (Nîmes). Where we were is where it passed over the river and is still standing. It’s absolutely amazing that they built something like this so long ago, and amazing still that it still stands and is in such good shape. Trish and I walked up the bank along one end of it, while Jeff stayed behind to have a snooze in the sun. From the top of the bank we could look down onto it and see the actual “aqueduct” part. It was way cool.

Then we drove to Vaison-la-Romaine where you find the old original “medieval” type city built up on a hill topped with, you guessed it, a château. The narrow streets were all cobblestone, the buildings all stone as well with vines growing along the walls in places. It was like taking a step back in time and was truly beautiful. The château at the top is in ruins basically, and not open to get inside. But the top had an amazing view of the surrounding city and country side. We roamed the streets for a while then made our way back to the car and then back to Aix to call it a day.

and then a fight broke out at the Louvre...

After sleeping off our severe disappointment we got up, undaunted by our previous day, and were off to the Louvre. Once again this isn’t somewhere I woulda gone but Trish wanted to go so I conceded to the hour and a half “Masters” tour. Course when we got there that tour was sold out...lol…so, armed with a map, we did our own damn tour.

I have to say it was pretty impressive. I mean fuck! do they ever have a lotta art there. Top of the list of course was the Mona Lisa and the Venus De Milo. For the Mona Lisa they have a large area in front of it roped off so you can’t get real close. I was surprised that it’s actually quiet small. After a lot of pushing and shoving and be jostled around, I made it to the front to snap some pics. People are just so rude tho, I mean what’s so hard about waiting your turn to get up there, allowing others to take their pic and leave? But no you end up having to try and take your pic whilst fending off rude ignorant idiots who think that it’s okay to just shove you out of their way so that THEY can get THEIR pic. I got mine and got the hell out of there thoroughly disgusted. Venus De Milo was the same story though slightly worse. They allowed you closer but the shoving was just as bad if not worse. I got to the front and this guy beside me actually shoved me or tried to, out of the way with his elbow. I let that go but then he did it again. I turned to him and said in no uncertain terms, “stop shoving me”. Well yeah you guessed it he shoved me again. Thoughts raced through my mind then, followed by images of me being dragged out and subsequently tossed out of the Louvre. Actually that would have been a cool story and I would have left there thoroughly satisfied and suitable revenged. It took all I had in me to just take my pictures, turn and leave. As I passed by Trish I said, “Trish I gotta get out of here before I start dropping people”, to which some others had a good laugh over. Funny thing is when Trish got up there this same guy used her shoulder as leverage to steady his camera so he could take his pics….lol…he’s lucky he didn’t do that to me, something bad might have happened to his camera…-shifty eyes-

Then we met up with my cousin Jeff and headed off to Notre Dame. It was awesome inside but too dark to get decent pics. I was again to be disappointed because going to the top to see the gargoyles had been at the top of my list of things to do. But…we were too late, they weren’t letting anymore people in and there would be no other time for me to go…I was crushed. Still am.

Then we were off to the catacombs, where they put all the bones of all the people that they dug up from the cemeteries when the city needed the space. Trish didn’t really wanna go, but it was one of my highlights. Actually I had tried to bargain and have her go to the Louvre and me to the catacombs but she said she wanted to see them so there. She’s claustrophobic and doesn’t like dead people so this was a stretch for her. But hey, I went up to the spire in Salisbury! The whole tour took about 45 minutes and it was amazing. It took a while even just to get down deep enough. Unfortunately it was too dark to take pics and flash photography wasn’t allowed. I managed to get a few shots where there happened to be some lighting just so you could get an idea of what it was like but it was hard to keep my hand steady enough so that they weren’t blurry. We are talking hallways that go on and on, each side with bones stacked higher than your head. And they stacked them so neatly too! They used what I guess were the leg bones for the “walls” and they took the skulls and inserted them in various patterns in these “walls”. There were crosses, heart shapes, you name it, the guys that stacked this were creative! Trish survived though was suitably creeped out. I thought it was really cool!

So then we went and had some dinner and drinks and I was bummed I didn’t get the sauerkraut dish cuz the people beside us had it and holy moly it looked good. Then it was to bed cuz we were off first thing to Aix-en-Provence!

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pictures are mostly up... click here